Vomit vs. American Idol

Last night there was nothing on television until later in the evening, so I was reading stuff on the interweb and I also had the TV on. I’m pretty good at ignoring things, so I didn’t realize that American Idol was on until I heard somebody mention that a girl was going to sing a Police song. I like the Police, so I watched and she was not very good. I think she had probably never heard the Police version of the song, otherwise, she would have picked something else, or not have tried to be so cutesy. The next guy that came on started singing that Gavin DeGraw song from the TV show One Tree Hill, a top contender for the worst one-hour scripted show currently on television. He sang about 10 seconds before I was forced to change the channel, forever. I never went back. Instead, I wondered how anybody could sit through that week after week. And these are supposed to be the good contestants. There are so many other talented music makers out there, why do people want to watch random strangers sing cover songs, not even good cover versions, but elevator-music style covers, and then get ripped to shreds, while being told that they look beautiful.

And then I was thinking today, would I rather A) physically vomit OR B) watch American Idol, a mental vomit situation. In Option A, you only have to vomit once, and then the torture is over. You may have to clean it up afterwards, but you would be allowed to rinse your mouth and brush your teeth. In Option B, you would have to watch the entire episode, which I think is two hours of mental and aural torture, and lots of cringing. You wouldn’t have to clean anything up afterwards, but you probably will want to hit something or someone by the end of it. Rubber mallets would be provided.

I choose A.


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